Do You Parent and Discipline by Default?

Do you parent by default?Mother argue her son

By that I mean do you use the same parenting and discipline methods that your own parents did?

Many, if not most parents do. That’s because they’ve never really thought it through as to whether this is the best way to parent or not. It may be or it may not be.

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences.”
-
Margaret J Wheatly
                                                                                                                                          

I spend a fair bit of time in the Discipline with Influence Parent Program guiding parents through reflections on how they were raised.

I ask questions such as:

  • How do you think your parents’ discipline methods have affected you as an adult?
  • How do you think your parents’ discipline methods and parenting practices affect how you parent and discipline your own children?
  • What, if any, are some things that your parents did, said or held as values that you want to repeat or pass on to your own children?
  • What, if any, are some of the less positive things that your parents did, said or held as values that you don’t want to repeat or pass on to your own children?

These are important questions to ask yourself.

Your parents may have used very positive methods or they may not have. That’s why it’s important to make a conscious decision about how you’re going to parent your own children.

In addition to the above questions you also need to ask yourself:

  • Are my parenting methods positive and will they serve to develop long term characteristics in my child such as responsibility, self-discipline and independence?
  • Does the way I discipline my child reflect up to date and research based information regarding effective discipline?

Lots to think about!

Commonly, people spend more time learning the skills for a new hobby or sport than on learning effective parenting methods.

Being a parent is the most important job on the planet. It deserves a great deal of time and effort!

“Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.”
-Stephen Covey

Be a parent who is the person that your children will look back on as having the most positive influence on their life!

Hone your parenting skills by:

  • attending a parenting class or
  • reading a book such as Positive Discipline.  (I have a long list of other books I recommend, as well, but Positive Discipline is a classic and is packed full of positive parenting tools!)
  • Or take my Discipline with Influence online course! (-: Can’t resist a plug for it here! You can take it at your own pace.

Thanks for visiting my blog!
-Ruth

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